Straight To The Point

June is kind of a lame and boring month.  There are no major holidays.  But let's explore what could be the saving grace of this dumb month.

National VCR Day is celebrated on June 7th. For those of you under the age of 35, VCRs are what Boomers had to use to watch porn back in the day.  You'd stop at your local Blockbuster Video store, go to the draped-off "adult" room in the back of the store, and walk around with a semi-boner looking for the perfect video to spend a few minutes cranking the hog to. Instead of previews, you had to base the fappability of the video tape on the 3-4 photos on the back of the box.  Once selected, you then had to quickly slip out of the room without anyone noticing, and check out at the front of the store.  Naturally, you avoided eye contact with everyone - especially the clerk - and then eagerly went home to watch the goods.  Inserting the video into the VCR and finding that the video already started half-way into the action always served as the unpleasant reminder that you just witnessed the exact moment at which the previous dude busted all over himself.  Not cool.  The first rule of VCR etiquette was always - Be Kind, Rewind.

National Egg Roll Day is celebrated on June 10th. I guess the egg roll was China peoples' answer to french fries as a side dish.  Egg rolls are always hit or miss.  Either a place makes bombs ass egg rolls, or they make egg rolls that taste like someone pissed on some cabbage and deep fried it. Even worse is when a China resturant tries to trick you by calling it an egg roll when in reality it is a spring roll.  Spring rolls are considerably more effeminate.

National Panic Day is June 18th.  Actually, it's an International Day.  The purpose of this day is to raise awareness of struggles with mental illness, such as anxiety and panic attack.  To celebrate this day, you're supposed to reflect on ways to manage your panic.  For example, let's say you have a disqus site that is dying.  This triggers a panic attack because how are you supposed to get your daily affirmations that you're nice and attractive and not smelly if the people who maintained this facade have disappeared from your site?  The solution is simple, really.  Delete your site, get off the internet, and go find love in the real world.  Settle down with someone even uglier than you to ensure they don't cheat on you, have babies, and maybe find a job in which you contribute something meaningful to the world.  PCT is all about mental health awareness.

World Jiggling Day is June 17th.  What a great holiday. It's a holiday that celebrates women who God has smiled upon.  Let's explore.

Oh.  Hold Up.  June 17th is World Juggling Day, not Jiggling.  Whatever.

Finally, June is Pride Month.  It's a time in which we recognize individuals who God has frowned upon.  While celebrating sexual and moral deviancy may seem questionable, PCT is a place of peace and love, not hate.  It's also a Men's Interest site, which means we like to discuss sports.  So, let's recognize some of the notable closeted sports figures who should embrace the month dedicated to their love of another man's penis in their face.

Aaron Rodgers had a past male roommate/personal assistant who says that he and Aaron used to play hide the dick in the butt when they lived together.  

Mike Piazza has often been accused of being a Bisexual.  We all know Greg Fuller hates Bisexuals.  They are selfish, attention-seeking bastards.  When asked about batting for both teams, Mike Piazza responded, "I can only say what I know and what the truth is and that's I'm heterosexuals and I date women.  If I was gay, I'd be gay all the way.  That's it.  End of story."  That definitely sounds like something a gay would say. 

Troy Aikman was rumored to be gay.  The rumors seem credible since they were spread by Skip Bayless, who is very obviously gay.  Using his shitty reporting skills and notable gaydar, he was able to out Troy as a sausage jockey.

Finally, Kylian MBappe. It must have broken the hearts of millions of lonely but horny latina women everywhere when it was revealed in 2021 that MBappe was an MButtboi.  

He dated some transgendered dude named Ines Rau.   Ines has tits, sure.  But Ines also has a dick.  Or at least they/them used to have a dick.  Who knows?  

Well, Kylian knows.